Save the cheerleader. Save the world.

“The first part is in my “native language,” and then the second part provides a translation, or at least an explanation. This is not a look-at-the-autie gawking freakshow as much as it is a statement about what gets considered thought, intelligence, personhood, language, and communication, and what does not.”

Listen here.

I’ll give Roddick credit… the last thing I want to do is a press conference after a bad defeat. He handled it great and he was actually funny!

The “Brief Safe” is an innovative diversion safe that can secure your cash, documents, and other small valuables from inquisitive eyes and thieving hands, both at home and when you’re traveling. Items can be hidden right under their noses with these specially-designed briefs which contain a fly-accessed 4″ x 10″ secret compartment with Velcro closure and “special markings” on the lower rear portion. Leave the “Brief Safe” in plain view in your laundry basket or washing machine at home, or in your suitcase in a hotel room - even the most hardened burglar or most curious snoop will “skid” to a screeching halt as soon as they see them. (Wouldn’t you?) Made in USA. One size. Color: white (and brown).

Gilbert Arenas would like to go back to school and teach Coach K a lesson.

The Washington Wizards’ All-Star figures he could score "84 or 85" points if he got a chance to play Duke and coach Mike Krzyzewski, who cut Arenas from the U.S. national team last summer. - SI

With the help of the dark side, Gilbert Arenas will score 84 or 85 points vs. Duke…

The Coolest College Band presentation…

A letter sent Tuesday to Ringwood residents advised them that children shouldn’t eat squirrel more than once a month, while pregnant women should limit their intake to twice a month and adults should not eat squirrel more than twice a week.

It’s the first time the state has ever issued an advisory on squirrel consumption. And it comes two months after a lead-contaminated squirrel was found in the area. - myfoxny

I had no idea you can eat squirel…I wonder what it taste like? Sinigang?

Unseeded and ranked No. 81, Serena Williams made it back to a Grand Slam final with a 7-6 (5), 6-4 win over Nicole Vaidisova at the Australian Open.

She will face top-seeded Maria Sharapova in the final, the 19-year-old Russian advancing 6-4, 6-2 later Thursday over No. 4 Kim Clijsters in the second semifinal.

Williams and Sharapova are 2-2 in head-to-heads — Williams winning their last encounter after saving match points in the semifinals here two years ago before going on to win the title. - SI

After a young actress (Faris) unknowingly eats her roommate’s pot brownies, her day becomes a series of misadventures.

A New York Mets fan accused of posing as a reporter to meet players won’t go to jail, but he won’t be going to the team’s ballpark for a while, either.

Ryan Leli, 18, took a plea deal that spares him a potential seven-year prison sentence, but bars him for three years from Shea Stadium. The ban also applies to KeySpan Park — the home of the Mets’ minor-league affiliate, the Brooklyn Cyclones — and to the Mets’ spring training facility in Port St. Lucie, Fla.

Pic above is not Ryan Leli. Its Tony Award winning actress Kristin Chenoweth wearing a New York Mets jersey during a performance on the ‘Met’ stage.

Prosecutors said Leli told Mets management that he worked for NBC Universal and showed a fake NBC employee identification card so he could get press credentials. - SI